I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
