You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
