Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
