Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
