I will die if light touches me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
