i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize