I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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