Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize