I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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