He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
