youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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