all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
