We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The Olympian is in my bed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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