ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
