At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
