so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
