i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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