We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
