Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
