If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
