i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
