The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
