i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
