I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
