I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my being single is dangerous.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize