Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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