I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
