how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
