nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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