that's an acceptable place to lick
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
