So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
