Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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