coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
whose ass print is on the piano?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
