It was confusing and full of hummus
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
