I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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