I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize