tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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