After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
