She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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