it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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