Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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