I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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