YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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