this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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