That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
