I just cut my nipple shaving
Who wears a wallet chain?!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
FUCK WHALES
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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