Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
