why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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