So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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