she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
