Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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