I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
