I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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