god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize