You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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