Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
