Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize