somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
