I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
