do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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