I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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