I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
