I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
