I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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