What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
