I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
