he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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